Nocturnal Works death doula resources

Our Wedding

Tracy and I Met Online

It was July 2020 and Aotearoa New Zealand was out of our first lock-down. People were making their way back to offices and other public venues. After the better part of two months in lock-down at home with my son, New Zealand had beaten COVID-19 and I was back in an office and trying to get into the rhythm of work again. I got a message on my phone from the the vegetarian/vegan dating app that I had joined.

It was a Friday morning. I was feeling relaxed at thoughts of the weekend coming. I was feeling relaxed, because my meditation practice had entered another depth a few days before (discussed here). I was feeling relaxed because I was going to meet a friend for coffee in less than two hours. Everything was great. Minutes before, I had taken a photo of Mana Island, while waiting for the train to the city - basking in the view (that photo on Instagram follows this paragraph)

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I look at the app and there is a message from someone I had "liked" which speaks to my heart. I sense the gentleness, the sincerity. I respond in kind. What followed was one of the most genuine and natural interactions of my life. I was open to her heart and needs and she was open to mine. At one point, she commented on how easy it was between us and I smiled and agreed. That was more than seven months ago and it has remained this way between us.

Getting Married

We decided we would marry and initially thought of later this year. One morning, I woke to a message from Tracy, suggesting that an online wedding was possible. The last moments before I had drifted to sleep, I had wondered if an online wedding was possible and I wake to Tracy having the same idea. Immediately, I responded that we should do this and she agreed. We loved each other and saw no reason to wait, regardless of some opinions later voiced by others. In matters of love, follow your heart.

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We planned our wedding, with the officiant in Provo, Utah, Tracy in North Carolina and me in Aotearoa New Zealand.

Online Wedding

We got married at 11.30 New Zealand time on 27 February and 17.30 US Eastern time on 26 February.

Our loved ones were online, with Tracy's children, brother, sister and brother-in-law at her home. At my home was my best man (my son, Jack), my witness (Steve) and me.

The officiant took us through the ceremony of our creating, which included karakia, pepeha, poems read by her children, a song performed by my son and the reciting of our vows.

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I was single for almost seven years because I was waiting for Tracy. I knew I had to follow my heart and not settle for just anyone. I knew she would be loving, open, compassionate (she is vegan), intelligent, insightful and would get my sense of humour. She is all of those things and more.

The Future

We will meet this year as husband and wife. We are planning the details for the coming months and no doubt there will be more to share here, with you.

Aroha nui,

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Gerald Lee Jordan, MBA, MEd, MCouns ❤️

About Death Doulas

Death Doulas - also referred to as End of Life Doulas - provide emotional and other support to the dying and their families. Support can be psychological (e.g. counselling), physical (aiding with exercise), clerical (helping with completing documents, including advanced directives), documentary (recording messages, including final messages for the dying), ceremonial (e.g. helping plan and/or deliver funerals) and other assistance which is not medical in nature. Death doulas are not doctors, they are not nurses and they are not solicitors/lawyers. They are brought in at the request of the dying and/or family and they are there to help the person transition from life.

About Nocturnal Works

The content on this site is provided to give resources and support to those dying, their loved ones and those providing death doula (end of life) support. When we find out that death is near and the initial shock wears off, emotions and questions flood into our minds. Noctural Works exists as place where you can find out about mental health issues and therapy related to death, dying, grief and bereavement - as well as more practical support, such as planning for death and supporting others on their journey.

The resources on this site are provided by Death Doula Ltd, a company in Aotearoa New Zealand which provides end of life doula support online, in Wellington, Blenheim and Picton (New Zealand). These resources are not legal or medical in nature, so do no rely upon them, but seek legal and medical advice, as required. If you are interested in counselling resources not focusing on death and dying, you can visit our other site, Therapy Aroha.