Nocturnal Works death doula resources

Living with purpose

by Gerald Lee Jordan
10 February 2021 11:14 (NZT)

Considering motivation

I have spent a bit of time lately focusing on what motivates me. Understanding myself is important in its own right, but also helps me when I am in an empathic space with others. I started by looking within myself and then I expanded to contemplate what motivates others. Having been in a helping profession means that I have considered motivations many times before, but at the moment I am in a position of transition in my life and I want to make choices which are most consistent with my values, goals and the direction in which I want my life to go.

What motivates me

First is family. This is always central to me and if I have to decide between professions, travel and other considerations on one side and family on the other, family always wins. So, the question is what motivates me next and is consistent with my family priorities? There are a few other things that I prioritise. Knowledge is important. Helping is important. Living consistently with my values is extremely important. Exploring new places, cultures and paradigms is important. This list isn’t exhaustive, but serves as a good starting point.

Putting it together

So, I want to keep family connections, while exploring (new places and new ideas) within a helping context. How might this look? My son is in Aotearoa New Zealand, while my fiancée is in the USA. This has been the case for a while. My son is now in his final year of school and we have discussed me travelling to the USA to be with Tracy (bringing her back to Aotearoa), while he stays with his mum. He will only lack a few months finishing school when I leave. Being away from him is difficult for me, but he is 17 and is developing his own life. I hope to be back in a few months, with my wife.

Months abroad – doing what? I really have no interest in staying in the USA any longer than necessary and Tracy and I have been discussing possibilities, such as doing volunteer work for the months until she can get into NZ. It would be nice to be outside of the English-speaking world awhile – I have three English country passports and need a break from my mother tongue. Travelling and volunteering sounds good, but what is that like in a COVID world?

Next steps

Tracy and I are getting married online at the end of this month. We will meet later in the year. I will put my things into storage and we will travel together until she can get into NZ. I will most likely discuss some of this here, as it happens.

Looking forward to what lies ahead!

Aroha nui,

Lee Jordan signature

Gerald Lee Jordan, MBA, MEd, MCouns ❤️

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About Death Doulas

Death Doulas - also referred to as End of Life Doulas - provide emotional and other support to the dying and their families. Support can be psychological (e.g. counselling), physical (aiding with exercise), clerical (helping with completing documents, including advanced directives), documentary (recording messages, including final messages for the dying), ceremonial (e.g. helping plan and/or deliver funerals) and other assistance which is not medical in nature. Death doulas are not doctors, they are not nurses and they are not solicitors/lawyers. They are brought in at the request of the dying and/or family and they are there to help the person transition from life.

About Nocturnal Works

The content on this site is provided to give resources and support to those dying, their loved ones and those providing death doula (end of life) support. When we find out that death is near and the initial shock wears off, emotions and questions flood into our minds. Noctural Works exists as place where you can find out about mental health issues and therapy related to death, dying, grief and bereavement - as well as more practical support, such as planning for death and supporting others on their journey.

The resources on this site are provided by Death Doula Ltd, a company in Aotearoa New Zealand which provides end of life doula support online, in Wellington, Blenheim and Picton (New Zealand). These resources are not legal or medical in nature, so do no rely upon them, but seek legal and medical advice, as required. If you are interested in counselling resources not focusing on death and dying, you can visit our other site, Therapy Aroha.