Nocturnal Works death doula resources

Heartfulness

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Encountering Heartfulness

I have been involved in mindfulness – meditation – since 2003. The term “heartfulness” is new to me, but the concept is not. I first encountered heartfulness as metta meditation (loving-kindness meditation) about the same time as I started meditating in 2003. My initial response was that it was somehow less. I was trying to get my mind around the concept of focusing on an object and radiating compassion seemed a bit too fuzzy in contrast. My initial desire to label and make assumptions worked against my own best interests. I wish now that I had opened my mind to metta, for it would have changed many things in my life – things that I have been changing the last couple of years.

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Heartfulness

Like mindfulness, heartfulness is about focus and openness to yourself. When you meditate, for example, you focus on the breath (or a candle, or object) and as you meditate, you see your thoughts coming and going. Understanding your mind brings peace, as you realise that you are not your thoughts. With heartfulness, you focus on compassion – compassion for yourself and others. When you focus on this, you see your focus on compassion growing. You get the physiological benefits of these positive emotions, but you also learn how to acknowledge and be with your emotions. As your positive emotions relating to compassion grow, you see your empathy for other beings grow and you find that you act with more kindness towards others. Being with your heart, you learn to live in the emotional moment, just as you learn to live in the moment of perception with mindfulness.

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Heartfulness Practice

There are many ways to practice heartfulness. A common approach is to radiate compassion, focusing first on yourself, then someone you love, then someone to whom you are indifferent, then to someone you dislike and finally to all beings. The idea is that compassion begins with yourself. Using this approach, if you are not able to feel positive emotions of loving-kindness for yourself, you will have difficulty radiating these feelings to others. When I discussed this approach with my teenage son, he said, “It is like when you put the oxygen mask on yourself on the plane, before putting it on others!” Help yourself – or in this case, learn to love yourself – or you will not be able to most effectively help others.

Focusing on yourself

May I be happy,
May I be healthy,
May I be loved,
May I know peace.

Focusing on someone you love

May [insert name] be happy,
May [insert name] be healthy,
May [insert name] be loved,
May [insert name] know peace.

Focusing on someone to whom you are indifferent

May [insert name] be happy,
May [insert name] be healthy,
May [insert name] be loved,
May [insert name] know peace.

Focusing on someone you dislike

May [insert name] be happy,
May [insert name] be healthy,
May [insert name] be loved,
May [insert name] know peace.

Focusing on all beings

May all beings be happy,
May all beings be healthy,
May all beings be loved,
May all beings know peace.

Context for Heartfulness Meditation

You may choose to do this during the time you have set aside for meditation. You may chose to do this while on the train. Anywhere you can focus without much distraction. Me? I do it after I meditate and just before falling asleep. It puts me in a wonderful space as I drift off to sleep.

Taking into the world

You will find that these private meditative thoughts will carry into your everyday life and relationships, as you grow in heartfulness.

May all beings – including you – know peace!

Aroha nui,

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Gerald Lee Jordan, MBA, MEd, MCouns ❤️


About Death Doulas

Death Doulas - also referred to as End of Life Doulas - provide emotional and other support to the dying and their families. Support can be psychological (e.g. counselling), physical (aiding with exercise), clerical (helping with completing documents, including advanced directives), documentary (recording messages, including final messages for the dying), ceremonial (e.g. helping plan and/or deliver funerals) and other assistance which is not medical in nature. Death doulas are not doctors, they are not nurses and they are not solicitors/lawyers. They are brought in at the request of the dying and/or family and they are there to help the person transition from life.


About Nocturnal Works

The content on this site is provided to give resources and support to those dying, their loved ones and those providing death doula (end of life) support. When we find out that death is near and the initial shock wears off, emotions and questions flood into our minds. Noctural Works exists as place where you can find out about mental health issues and therapy related to death, dying, grief and bereavement - as well as more practical support, such as planning for death and supporting others on their journey.

The resources on this site are provided by Death Doula Ltd, a company in Aotearoa New Zealand which provides end of life doula support online, in Wellington, Blenheim and Picton (New Zealand). These resources are not legal or medical in nature, so do no rely upon them, but seek legal and medical advice, as required. If you are interested in counselling resources not focusing on death and dying, you can visit our other site, Therapy Aroha.