Nocturnal Works death doula resources

Balanced Equanimity

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Frank has sat with thousands of people dying and has dealt with his own cancer treatments. Through those experiences, he has seen people deal with death in many ways. How do we find the "balanced equanimity" that Frank mentions in this quote from his book? For me, equanimity comes from meditation. As my meditation practice has evolved, I have noted that my feelings are less extreme and I am grounded in the moment much more than I ever was before (since becoming an adult, at least, as I was very grounded in the moment as a child). Perhaps you know of other ways to develop such balanced equanimity? Do you practice them on a regular basis?

If we wait to develop such equanimity when we are near death, we most likely won't be able to remain grounded. If we develop such stillness in our lives before death, we will likely carry it into our last moments. I recently heard someone say, "You die as you live!" In regards to the equanimity Frank mentions, I would imagine this to be true. Some aspects of Hindu practice involve meditative states which prepare us for death, so promoting living the way you want to die is not a new concept.

Are you preparing for death by the way you live your life?

Aroha nui,

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Gerald Lee Jordan, MBA, MEd, MCouns ❤️

About Death Doulas

Death Doulas - also referred to as End of Life Doulas - provide emotional and other support to the dying and their families. Support can be psychological (e.g. counselling), physical (aiding with exercise), clerical (helping with completing documents, including advanced directives), documentary (recording messages, including final messages for the dying), ceremonial (e.g. helping plan and/or deliver funerals) and other assistance which is not medical in nature. Death doulas are not doctors, they are not nurses and they are not solicitors/lawyers. They are brought in at the request of the dying and/or family and they are there to help the person transition from life.

About Nocturnal Works

The content on this site is provided to give resources and support to those dying, their loved ones and those providing death doula (end of life) support. When we find out that death is near and the initial shock wears off, emotions and questions flood into our minds. Noctural Works exists as place where you can find out about mental health issues and therapy related to death, dying, grief and bereavement - as well as more practical support, such as planning for death and supporting others on their journey.

The resources on this site are provided by Death Doula Ltd, a company in Aotearoa New Zealand which provides end of life doula support online, in Wellington, Blenheim and Picton (New Zealand). These resources are not legal or medical in nature, so do no rely upon them, but seek legal and medical advice, as required. If you are interested in counselling resources not focusing on death and dying, you can visit our other site, Therapy Aroha.