Jerry Jordan

Who am I? Labels could include:

  • Daddy
  • Counsellor
  • Educational Technologist
  • Educator
  • Programmer
  • Vegetarian

I am daddy to the best 12 year old, ever.

I have been involved in web design since the mid-90s and I started teaching a few years before that. I am into server-based software, database administration, Linux, open source software, UX and programming in HTML and Swift. I also have a qualification, training and experience in counselling others.

I try to live a life that includes compassion and empathy for other beings - including compassionate consumption choices.

I am by nature equal parts analytic and creative. I love problem-solving, but also love creating - verse, programming, sketching, etc.

You can find me on Twitter at @nocturnalworks.

Counsellor Jerry

Intentional Human Traumas

In comparing recovering from three different types of trauma, intentional human produced traumas, unintentional human produced traumas and natural disasters producing traumas, an internationally recognised expert in Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Glenn R. Schiraldi has stated that "intentional human traumas are usually the worst, PTSD symptoms resulting from such stressors are usually more complex, are of a longer duration, and are more difficult to treat."1

When a person experiences PTSD, their world becomes fearful, they often feel like there is chaos and they have no control. Their views of life, relationships and almost everything else can be challenged. We all know that the world can be unstable. Earthquakes, volcanoes and many other natural events are evident in our mountain ranges and islands. While we hope that we will never be subject to such events, we do acknowledge at some cognitive level that they are natural. We also know that we and others make mistakes. What can be extremely difficult, however, is to see the side of humanity that willingly brings suffering to countless beings. We want to believe that we are better than this. We want to believe that our family and friends are better than this. We want to believe that our government wouldn't sacrifice us on foreign battlefields for economic gain.

Many come home from conflict and have to suffer with the stress of what they experienced and - on top of this - can find themselves distrustful of others. When they have seen what human beings can do do one another, moving forward with life can be incredibly difficult. This difficulty is not limited to those who have experienced combat situations, but can also arise from extremely traumatic interpersonal relationships. A person who finds out their partner has suddenly left them, can experience PTSD. A person who has experience domestic violence can experience PTSD. A person who has been raped can experience PTSD.

Understanding the trauma and how people react to such can often be an early step on the road to recovery. Realising that you are not somehow "odd" for feeling the way you do, can help with the pain. If you think you are experiencing PTSD, there is help available. Contact your GP and share your concerns, talk to someone you can trust, look online and in your local library for resources related to PTSD or research the counsellors in your area (or available online).

You can recover from PTSD! Don't feel that you have to suffer alone.

1The Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Sourcebook a Guide to Healing, Recovery, and Growth. (p. 7). (2009). McGraw-Hill Publishing.

Narrative Therapy

We all have “narratives” or stories that we construct about our lives. The events around us are not quite as objective as we often like to imagine. We take information, feelings, reactions, instincts and we filter events, creating our own stories of what has happened. This active construction of “reality” is understood, analysed and utilised in Narrative Therapy.

Unlike in some therapeutic approaches where the therapist is an “expert”, the Narrative therapist realises that the client is the expert in his or her own life. By working through the narratives of a client’s life – most specifically those that are problematic for current functioning – the client and therapist are able to develop “richer” narratives, which aid the individual with conflict resolution and creating a perspective of self and the world which assist in sounder mental health. In this context, the therapist is a collaborator with the client, helping construct revised meaning.

There are a number of techniques employed in Narrative Therapy, including:

  • Helping the client to “separate” from problems, seeing that they are not the same as their problems. (This externalisation process also includes “strengths” and other more positive aspects of self, so that the client can author a more preferred narrative of self.)
  • Encouraging the client to consider life events which are not dominant in current narratives (e.g. looking for exceptions).

Narrative Therapy developed in the family therapy practices of Australian Michael White and New Zealander David Epston and is still used in relationship counselling. For some practitioners, including Epston, it is common to use not only verbal narratives, but also things such as letters, documents and other supporting objects.

Family Scripts

Family scripts are a conceptualisation which can aid therapists in working with families. The idea is that families have accustomed ways of interacting with each other and these shared stories can be woven not only into the fabric of the nuclear family, but can also take place in trans-generational contexts.

Thus, various family members take upon themselves (or have thrust upon them) certain “parts” in the play that is the life of the family. An abusive father may have himself been brutalised and then treats his son in the same way, who then takes the position of his father in this script, when he becomes a father himself.

The idea is that these scripts are unspoken and family members do not consciously know that they are acting a given part in the family drama. Attempts to change the script can cause hostile reactions from other family members, who do not want someone affecting their own roles.

Part of applying family script techniques to family counselling involves the therapist helping the family members understand their roles and coming up with improved ways of understanding and relating to each other.

Inner Space - The Final Frontier

When I was a small child, I thought nothing could be better than to explore a new world. I was fascinated by science fiction – to see a new world, to explore the stars, to encounter new beings, to imagine new (and generally more noble) ways of existing. All of these things filled me with wonder and desire for things which I knew I would never experience. I have always loved sci-fi for this gift. This ability to be and imagine more.

When I entered my 40s, I had an experience which shook me to my core. I was lost – lost in my head, lost in the world. The only thing which kept me tethered to this world was a very dear four year old who called me “Daddy”. I felt adrift emotionally and the mood shifts, from grief to hostility, were almost more than I could bear. A place that I felt I knew intimately – my mind – suddenly became a strange and frightening landscape.

It was then that I realised that our greatest journeys will never be to other celestial landscapes, our bravest explorations will not be propelled by the thrust required to break orbit of our pale blue dot. Our greatest and most noble paths will not be to the stars, but will be to the infinite abyss within ourselves. To stand at the edge and look into the darkness, to be willing to stare into the darkness – such is a brave and noble act.

You will receive no ticker tape parade, no slaps on the back, no heroes’ welcome. Most will not be able to understand either your motivation or the changes which this journey has brought to you. You will be able to discuss your voyage of discovery only with kindred spirits, who have also sailed by the stars.